An Unforgotten Tale
by RubberDuckiesWhoLikePieAndCake
Summary: Tayuya is a Princess. Orochimaru is Prince who wants to be a King. Their Engaged. But, while she’s going to his castle, she gets lost in the middle of a forest. Who does she meet? KimiTayu, GaaSaku, NaruHin, TenNeji, InoShika. THIS IS KIMITAYU NOT OROTAYU
1. Progule or however the heck u spell this

**DD- Yo dudes, what's up?**

**EE- Okay guys, this is a Kimiaro and Tayuya coupling, because it rocks!**

**DD- No it doesn't, it rocks solid rock!!!**

**EE- Whatever. Anyway, on to the story, and here's the summary, and by the way, don't read this if you like Sasuke:**

**Tayuya is a Princess. Orochimaru is Prince who wants to be a King. Their Engaged. But, while she's going to his castle, she gets lost in the middle of a forest. Who does she meet? TayuKimi, GaaSaku, NaruHin, TenNeji, InoShika**

"This sucks," A red-pink haired girl said, walking out of a Gigantic castle gate. She was leaving for her new Fiancé's Castle in the Sound Village.

_Flashback_

_Everyone important in the Village was in the meeting room. When she walked in the room, everyone stared at her. She was wearing her usual black kimono, and her black sandals. _

"_Welcome Princess Tayuya," Kidomaru said, bowing down to her._

"_Yeah, Yeah, Whatever. It's not like I want to be here you Bastard," Tayuya said, walking by him._

"_A lady such as you should not use such words," Jiroubou said._

"_Shut up you fat ass, don't tell me what to do!" Tayuya snapped._

"_Princess, sit down, we need to talk," the King said. Tayuya just glared at him. _

"_I have called you all to this meeting to announce some good news, and some bad news. The good news is that we can get a peace treaty with the sound," The King paused, so everyone could cheer," But, the bad news is… by doing so, he wants to marry Tayuya."_

_Tayuya at that moment was drinking soda, and when she heard that, she spit it out at Sakon._

"_WHAT?!?!?!?" She yelled," There's no way I'm marring that Gay Lord! We all know he wants Uchiha Sasuke, but he wants to marry me to hide his gayness!"_

"_Pack your things, you will leave tomorrow with Sakon, Jiroubou, and Kidomaru, HAVE FUN!!!" The King said and laughed at his daughter," Well, I got to go now, I'm missing Desperate House Wives!"_

"_By the way, don't talk to strangers, including the people in the Village in the Weed and The Village hidden in the Trash Cans," Her Father said, as he left singing to the tune of Days Of Our Lives._

"_GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB ASS!!! YOUR'E DITCHING ME FOR DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES???!?!?!?!?" Tayuya screamed, and it took Sakon and Kidomaru to hold her back._

_End Flash Back_

"Man," Tayuya sighed, as Sakon, Kidomaru, and Jiroubou walked up to her.

"We're leaving now," Sakon said, as they started jumping tree to tree. He knew Tayuya wouldn't run away. She knew that she had to get that Peace treaty, and she couldn't find a good way to sneak away from them anyway.

After a few hours it became night, and the Moon shown down on them. They stopped a few minutes after Tayuya and Sakon got into a cussing-out fight. They all set up camp and started a fire.

"Stupid Spider!" Sakon yelled, as he squashed a spider trying to crawl on his shoe.

"Why did you kill that poor innocent spider???!?!?!?" Kidomaru yelled, as he began to cry over the crushed body.

"What's your problem?" Sakon asked, "It's just a spider."

"That's easy for you to say!" Kidomaru looked up, tears in his eyes, "Let's have a funeral."

Sakon rolled his eyes.

"Now it's on, you spider-murder!" Kidomaru yelled as they went into mortal combat. Just kidding, but they both had black eyes in the end.

"Are you shit heads done yet?" Tayuya asked irritably, "Well, anyway, I'm going to go get some water, now don't do anything stupid. Oh, wait, you can't keep that promise, you Shit heads."

Tayuya got up, and walked towards a near by river, with a bucket. When she got to the river she saw a man with Silver hair about her age. He looked up at her, noticing that she was staring at him. She looked away, and blushed. She put in the water, filling it half way, when she heard a scream.

"DON"T KILL THAT SPIDER, SAKON!!!!" She heard Kidomaru yell, as she sweatdropped. She got the water, and took it back to the camp, forgetting about the silver hair guy.

"Shut up you baka's!" Tayuya yelled, as she threw the water on top of Sakon, and threw the empty bucket at Kidomaru.

"Ouch!"

"Cold!!"

Tayuya and Jiroubou were just laughing at them, but what they didn't know, was that a pair of green eyes was watching them from above.

About an hour later, Sakon and Kidomaru and Jiroubou were asleep and Tayuya had decided to run away, taking a map with her. But not before tying up Sakon, Kidomaru and Jiroubou, a.k.a the three idiots and dangling them off a thirty foot high cliff.

"Dumb asses, they can't even keep me from running away and it was three on one!" she laughed and headed in the direction she thought was home. Except it wasn't.

**DD- Hey guy! That was chappie one!!! Please review, and we'll update soon!!**

**EE- Yeah, what she said.**

**Clark- I'm a girl**

**Gaara- We already knew that. Inside joke people. Review or else I will send my Teddy bears after you, and you don't want that, do you?**


	2. Map?

**DD- Here's the next chapter and stuff!** **And thank you Keselek and yakitori for reviewing!!!!  
**

**Gaara- You guys actually updated fast!!! the World is coming to an end!**

**DD- SHut up... anyway heres the next chapter!  
**

**EE- Yeah, please r & r!**

**Chapter Two**

"Man, I havn't been sleeping well lately," Sakon said, not noticing his situation.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Kidomaru said, "Wait, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ouch, my ears! Why are you srcreami- AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Jiroubou yelled, as loud as a chimpanzee(A/N: They are loud right?)

"TAYUYA!!!!!!!" They all screamed and wiggled, trying to get free.

**An hour later**

After struggling to get free, they finally got untied by some Black haired bowl cut, and a spandex green suit wearer.

"That kid was weird," Sakon said, as the others nodded.

"Crap! Where's the map??? And where's Tayuya? I Can't read maps!!!" Jiroubou yelled, as they both stared at him.

"You don't know how to read the map???" Sakon asked.

"I thought you guys did!" Jiroubou yelled.

"I can't even read," Kidomaru said.

"I flunked Social studies, so don't look at me," Sakon said, " Wait a second, if we can't read the map Tayuya probably can't either, and she'll probably get lost… like us."

"It doesn't even matter, we don't have the map!" Kidomaru screamed with frustration.

**With Tayuya**

"Damn it!" Tayuya yelled, "I should have learned how to read a map!"

Since that night she had been wandering around the forest wondering which way to go.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Help!" a little girl screamed from not to far off.

"Maybe I can get directions if I save her!" Tayuya said as she ran off to where the scream was coming from.

In the middle of clearing, Tayuya stopped. She saw the back of a black haired girl. About to be attacked by a blonde boy and a pink haired girl about to fight her.

"What are you kids doing to her?" Tayuya asked and both the boy and girl began to laugh, really hard. Our damsel in distress turned around slowly.

It was a boy.

"Oh, sorry." Tayuya said wide-eyed.

"She thought you were a girl Sasuke!" The other boy laughed, "Not that you aren't."

"Leave me alone!" Sasuke said in a girlish tone, "Do you think this outfit makes me look fat?"

"Yeah, and What's you're name?" The pink-haired girl asked, pointing to Tayuya, "I'm Sakura by the way, and this is Naruto, oh, and the girl is Sasuke."

"I am not a girl! Oh, Sakura, where did you get that nail polish?" Sasuke said, in her I mean his girlish voice.

"I'm Tayuya," Tayuya said," And, I'm kind of lost. I don't really know how to read a map either."

"Okay then, um where are you heading?" Sakura asked.

"To the one Kingdom, you know that one with the trees and stuff?" Tayuya said. Poor Tayuya could never remember what the name of her Kingdom was.

Suddenly, A certain silver haired guy came out a tree, and soon Tayuya realized it was the guy she had seen before.

"Oh hey, I remember you," Tayuya said, "You were the one guy right?"

"Um, can you like get like rid like of like them like for like me like like Kimi-chan?" Sasuke questioned.

"Your name is Kimi? That's a stupid name," Tayuya said, as Kimi-chan glared at Sasuke, and then Tayuya.

"No it's Kimimaro," Kimimaro said, as Tayuya said oh.

"Okay, so anyway, back to our other discussion. Where the hell am I?" Tayuya asked, "And how do I get to that ummm one Kingdom?"

"Who are you bitch?" Kimimaro asked.

"I'm Tayuya, and don't call me no bitch you shit head," Tayuya said, snapping her fingers, when Lil John came out of nowhere.

"Snap yo fingers!" Lil John sang.

"You can do it all by yo self let me see you do it," He sang again.

"HEY, HEY!" Everyone sang with him, "Let me see you do it!!"

**Moving on**

"So anyway, are you guys about to fight?" Tayuya asked.

"So wait, you're Orochimaru-Samma's new wife?" Kimi-chan asked.

"No, must be a different Tayuya," Tayuya said, trying to not look suspicious, but failed. But luckily, everyone was an idiot except for Kimimaro, and they didn't figure it out.

"I've never heard of any other Tayuyas before," Kimi-Chan said.

"Yeah, well I've never heard of any Kimi-Chans before, now Have I," Tayuya said to him.

"Shut up," Kimi-Chan said, glaring at Sasuke for calling him Kimi-Chan in the first place.

"Well, I heard that Princess Tayuya had red hair," Kimi-Chan said to her, knowing he was right.

"Well, I don't need other people to tell me that you're an asshole," She said, as Kimi-Chan started to give the I-HATE-YOU-I-HOPE-YOU-DIE-FROM-SASUKE'S-GIRLYNESS glare(A/N: Yes there is such thing).

"Okay guys, let's just fight," Sakura said, as she got out her Kunias, Naruto did a jutsu, and made about 789 copies of him self, Sasuke acvitated his Sharingan, and Kimi-Chan pulled a bone out of himself.

"Hey guys, can I fight too?" Tayuya asked.

"Sure why not. You can be on my side," Sakura told her, as Tayuya nodded, and got out a flute.

"What are you going to use that stupid flute for?" Kimi-Chan asked, mocking her.

"I'm going to kick your ass with it," Tayuya answered, as she started playing some notes. All of a sudden three dead-looking monster things came out of the ground. Everyone stared in aw, except for Kimi-Chan, who just glared the same glare from before.

"Awesome Tay-Chan," Sakura yelled, as Tayuya started flinching.

"Tay-chan?!?" Tayuya asked, really agrivated by that name.

"Yep, just like Sakura-San said, Tay-Chan," Kimi-Chan said, Smirking.

"Oh, you die now," Tayuya said, as she started playing more notes.

"What are going to do Tay-Chan?" Kimi-Chan mocked her, as a plastic Kunai hit him.

"What the hell?" Kimi-Chan asked, as Sakura, Naruto, and Tayuya laughed.

"Sorry about that, I threw it at the wrong person," Sasuke apologized to Kimi-Chan.

"Why Orochimaru keeps you around still makes me wonder." Kimi-Chan sighed.

"Because he wants Sasuke's body, he's gay, no denying it!" Naruto reasoned.

"I'm not gay and neither is Orochimaru-kun, I mean, samma."

"Sure." Sakura said and the fight continued.

Sakura hit Sasuke with a REAL kunai and he fell over. "My nail! You broke it!"

Sasuke was down, not that it mattered much.

Tayuya's monster-thingys began to attack Kimi-Chan. He dodged their attack, and cut one in half with his bone. Tayuya kept playing more notes, and the monster thingy- things kept attacking Kimi-Chan, and he kept slicing in half. Then, Tayuya started to play a different song. This one was putting the monsters back together.

"Damn, Tay-Chan, I guess you can actually fight, and here I thought that you were some weak little villager, Oh, wait you are," Kimi-Chan mocked, as she started radiating chakra from her body.

"Shut up you asshole," She yelled, as she played an illusion. He started grabbing his head, and fell to his knees.

"Gotcha," Tayuya said, laughing for a few minutes.

"No, I got you," Kimi-Chan said, as he punched her.

"What? How did you get out of my illusion?" Tayuya asked.

"It was pretty easy, including since it was such a weak person who placed the illusion on me," Kimi-Chan said, as she glared at him. Kimi-Chan began to punch her, but for some reason she couldn't block it. After about the 78th punch, she fell to the ground, bruised and bleeding.

"So, you aren't THAT weak," Kimi-Chan said, as he picked up her unconscious body bridal style.

**Back to Naruto and Sakura**

"HAHAHAHA!!!" Naruto laughed along with Sakura. They tied Sasuke up to a tree, and drew all over his face with permanent marker. Sakura was breaking all of Sasuke's nails.

"NOOO!!! I just got a French Manicure!!!" Sasuke yelled, as Naruto was video-taping the whole thing. Sasuke gave the camera the, I-HATE-YOU-AND-I-HOPE-YOU-DIE-FROM-MY-GIRLINESS glare. All of a sudden, Kimi-Chan came out from the trees, carrying Tayuya. Naruto and Sakura took the camera and started taping them. They kind of took the carrying the wrong way, and decided to play… MATCHMAKER!!!! Dun dun dun dun…. Dun dun dun dun…….

**DD- Well that's all folks!! Pretend this is a loony toons commercial.**

**EE- And your bugs bunny!**

**Gaara- Anyway, please review, or else, I won't make muffins!**

**EE- You bake?**

**Gaara- Yes, I mean, no! of course not!**

**DD- Sure**

**EE- Please review!!!!!!!**


	3. Santa, Team Rocket, and pacifiers OH MY!

**DD- Hi again dudes! Since I'm so awesome and stuff, I'm updating!!!! YAY!!!!!! **

**EE- Yo**

**DD- Neji-Chan, I miss u! **

**EE- I miss u more!**

**DD- no I miss u more!**

**CONTINUES FOR LIKE AN HOUR**

**Gaara- Shut up about how u guys miss each other, and get on with the story!**

**DD- Fine be that way, here's the next chappie!**

**Chapter 3 **

**In the middle of a forest**

"Damn that Tayuya for taking the map!" Sakon yelled in anger, as he blew up a tree.

"How did you blow up that tree?" Kidomaru asked.

"I don't know. I think it just happens when I'm really pissed off," Sakon said.

"Even if we did have the map, we still wouldn't know how to read it," Jiroubou said, knowing it was true.

"So, we could have at least asked people to read the map for us," A voice said.

"Sakon, is that your stupid talking puppet-doll thing?" Kidomaru asked.

"NO YOU IDIOTS! IT'S MY BROTHER!!!!" Sakon said, obviously pissed off.

"Yeah, you baka's," Yukon said, as he climbed off of Sakon's back.

"Thank you for the piggy-back ride Sakon," Yukon said, bowing down to his brother.

"Okay then, anyway, we need to find Tayuya and the map. More importantly the map, but if we happen to see her with the map, we'll take her to Ero-Sushi-Maru, or whatever that Snake-bastard's name is," Jiroubou said, as the others agreed with his plan. As they started walking, Sakon tripped.

"You're really clumsy, you know that," Yukon said, as Sakon got up.

"No, I tripped over a…. pacifier?" Sakon said, confused to death.

"Is that a pacifier? And what are those letters on it? I don't know how to read," Kidomaru questioned.

"Well, at least I can read books," Jiroubou said, as he picked up the pacifier, and read what it said on it.

"Property of Uchiha Sasuke," Jiroubou read.

"What. The. Hell." Yukon said. After a few minutes of staring at the pacifier, a smoke bomb appeared out of nowhere, and everyone started coughing.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-ACKACK-HA!" A voice said, as they all tried looking around to see who it was, and where they were.

"I am Jesse," A another voice said.

"And I am James," the other voice said.

"And together, we are… TEAM ROCKET!!!" James and Jesse yelled at the same time, as the smoke cleared up.

"Who the hell are you guys?" Kidomaru asked.

"Like we said, Jesse and James!!! Were part of Team Rocket!!!" They exclaimed, as a cat came out of nowhere.

"Hey, what about me? I'm Meowth!" The cat said, wanting attention.

"Whatever… anyway, were just going to go now," Jiroubou said, as him and the others started running from the maniacs.

"Not so fast!" Jesse exclaimed, as she threw a net over them, catching all of them.

"Were kidnapping you! Were going to give you to our boss!" James told them, as he picked up the net with the 4 idiots in it, and put them in the back of this big huge humor.

"Where the hell did you get a humor?" Sakon questioned.

"Ebay," Meowth plainly said.

"Oh, hi! Like, I like, Thought, like, that, Like, I, Like was, Like, The, like, only, like, person, like, getting, like, kidnapped, like like like," A voice said, that was in a net also, and was sitting right next to them.

"Oh, gosh, not you!" Yukon yelled, as he started hitting his head on the car.

"Hey what's wrong with this girl?" Kidomaru asked.

"She's…………………………………..JESSICA SIMPSON!!!! HOW COULD THERE BE NOTHING WRONG WITH HER?!?!!?" Yukon yelled, hitting his head harder on the car.

"Crap, it is isn't it," Sakon said, as he started hitting his head on Yukons, thinking he was hitting the car window.

"That hurts you know," Yukon said to Sakon.

"I know that hitting your head on a car window hurts, but we must get out of here!!!" Sakon yelled.

"No, I mean your Hitting your head on mine!!!" Yukon yelled, punching Sakon, who hit Jessica Simpson.

"Wait, why are you here anyway?" Kidomaru asked, trying not to get her autograph. If everyone figured out he like Jessica Simpson, everyone would think he was just plain stupid, which they already thought about him.

"Oh, like, I, like, got, like, captured, like, when, I, was, like, walking, through, like, the, like, forest, like, like," Jessica said, as she recalled a flashback.

_FlashBack_

_Jessica and Nick were walking on the beach, the same beach where they were kicked out for scaring away the costumers, but they didn't know why, so they just continued to go there, and they dressed up as yu-gi-oh characters, and Jessica dressed up as Serenity, and Nick dressed up as Kiba. They couldn't believe the people actually bought there disguises._

"_Hey, like, Nick, like, don't you, like, love, like, Christmas?" Jessica asked._

"_Ew! No I hate Christmas! Easter rocks! I'm even the Easter Bunny! So HA!" Nick said to her, laughing at her._

"_Shut up! Like, I'm, like, Santa Clause, so like diss, like like," Jessica said. It was true. She was Santa Clause, and Nick was the Easter Bunny. Lately they had gotten into a lot of fights, because Ashley was the pumpkin King, and she kept putting Christmas decorations over Nicks Easter decorations. _

"_Yeah, well Easter rocks!" Nick yelled at her!_

"_No Christmas rocks!" Jessica yelled._

"_Yeah, well Easter rocks!" Nick yelled at her!_

"_No Christmas rocks!" Jessica yelled._

"_Yeah, well Easter rocks!" Nick yelled at her!_

"_No Christmas rocks!" Jessica yelled._

"_Yeah, well Easter rocks!" Nick yelled at her!_

"_No Christmas rocks!" Jessica yelled._

"_I WANT A DIVORCE!" Nick yelled, as he ran away._

"_WHAT????!!!???!?!!!?!?!?!??" Jessica yelled, as she started crying and walking away from the beach, but what she didn't know, was that she was crying so hard, that she didn't notice that she walked all the way over to Japan from Hawaii, into a forest._

"_Oh why! Why couldn't Aaron Carter or Jesse McFartney stay with me!?!" Jessica yelled to the sky as lightning struck her, and she fainted. Team Rocket put a net over her, and carried her to the humor, so they could give her to the boss._

_End Flashback_

"So that's what like happened, like, like," Jessica told them, as she started crying.

"That's…. really stupid," Kidomaru said, as Jessica punched him in the head, and he blacked out.

"I know how to get out of here guys!" Jiroubou whispered so that Sakon, Yukon, and Jessica could hear (remember, Kidomaru is still blacked out).

"Okay, this is how we get out…." Jiroubou whispered again.

"Good plan!" Sakon yelled.

"What are you kids talking about back there?" James asked.

"Nothing!" They all screamed at him, making him faint from the loud voices. It was that loud.

"Shut up!" Jesse Screamed at them, as Sakon and Yukon cut there way out of the net, and jumped out the door, holding Kidomaru. Jiroubou finally got out of there, with Jessica following him.

"YAY! We, like, got, like, out, like like!" Jessica yelled in happiness.

"To bad you couldn't have staying in the car," Yukon mumbled, but Jessica heard him.

"YOUR GOING DOWN!!! NO PRENSENTS FOR YOU THIS YEAR!" Jessica yelled, as everyone sweat dropped.

"Can I still have that Chain Saw I told you about in my letter?" Yukon asked, as everyone stared at him.

"What? I might still believe in Santa just a little bit," Yukon said, defensively.

"Okay, then, um anyway, we have to go, bye, bye!" Kidomaru told her, waving at her, as she whistled. All of a sudden, 6 reindeer ran over Jessica.

"Ouch, like, you, like, were, like, supposed, to like, land, like over there, not like on top of me, like," Jessica said, as the reindeer laughed at her.

Somewhere Away from Jessica

"We finally escaped the evil girl! Mission accomplished!" Sakon yelled," Though I don't know why you still believe in Santa Clause."

"Shut up!" Yukon yelled, as they walked into the sunset, and melted. Just kidding, but not really.

**End Chapter 3**

**DD- Before you guys ask, they didn't really melt. They can't die…yet. Just kidding. I don't think I'll kill them, but you never know!!!! laughs manically**

**EE- In other words, she's not going to kill them. **

**Gaara- I'll hate you if you don't review, and ill give cookies to those who do review**

**EE- I told you you baked!**

**Gaara- Of course I don't!**

**DD- Sureeeeeee, well, please review!!! **

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	4. The Truth That Involves Volcanos

**EE-yo this is like, CHAPTER 4!!!!!**

**DD- that's the 4-1-1! cracks up laughing**

**Gaara- more like on crack**

**DD- SHUT UP!!!!!!!**

**Gaara- Got to go! Runs away from DD**

**EE- Admitting it is the first step to quiting**

**DD- yeah, except im not on crack**

**EE- we know, anyway, here's the story!**

**Chapter 4(1-1)**

**Orochimaru's castle**

"Where is Princess Tayuya??? I have to get married to her quick, so people will stop thinking I'm gay for Sasuke," Orochimaru said.

"Yeah, but you are," Kabuto said, filled with jealously for Sasuke.

"So, I can't let people know that, they won't take me seriously," Orochimaru reasoned.

"Yeah, but they don't take you seriously now," Kabuto truthfully said to Orochimaru.

"That's because they think I'm gay!" Orochimaru yelled.

"But, you are," kabuto said again.

"Shut up, or I'll kill you!!!" Orochimaru exclaimed to Kabuto, "And by the way, where is Sasuke-kun?"

**With Sasu-gay, I mean Sasuke**

"Hey guys, like, I like, have this, like, feeling, that I'm supposed, like, to be at, like, Orochimaru's place," Sasuke said, feeling de-ja-vu. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were to busy laughing at the footage that they got yesterday.

**Back With Orochimaru**

"You know what, I can't think of him right now, I got to get Tayuya so that people won't know that I'm gay! Send a messenger to the one Kingdom, you know that one with the trees and stuff," Orochimaru said, trying to remember the name of Tayuya's kingdom.

"Or you could just call them on your cell phone, since we don't have any more messengers because Sasuke's at the mall, and we don't know where Kimimaro is, plus all the other ones are dead," Kabuto replied.

"Oh, Okay," Orochimaru said happily, pulling out his pink razer phone, with jem stones on it, along with a picture of Sasuke cut into a heart shape.

"Yeah, Tayuya isn't here… yeah well….. but!... You try to find her!...But, but, I'll be missing Desperate housewives then!... fine I'll tell you what happens in the new episode, bye bye," Orochimaru told the king, and hung up.

**The one Kingdom, you know that one with the trees and stuff**

"Dang it, I can't believe I'm going to miss Desperate housewives, just to find my stupid daughter, Tea," the King said obviously mad.

"Um, sir, it's Tayuya, not Tea," A knight said.

"Yeah, her," The King remembered, as he picked up his phone again, which was decorated with Desperate Housewives, and other soap Operas, and called Tsunade.

"Hi…yeah, my daughter, Tea, is supposed to be getting married, but she's kind of missing… I know it's sad that I'm missing desperate Housewives, but can send some ninjas?...THANK YOU!!!!!...Oh, rub it in that your seeing Desperate Housewives and I'm not, and just because I'm King doesn't mean that I have a tape to record that show!... Okay, bye bye," The King sighed," She's such a bitch."

**In Konoha Kingdom**

"Okay, Shizune, call in the Sand Dude Gaara, his two siblings, the weird eye guy, and his cousin, and that one girl, Ten Ten," Tsunade ordered.

"Hai Tsunade, right after I watch Hero's," Shizune said, running back to her TV.

"HERO'S STARTS IN 5 MINUTES! YOU CAN STILL TELL EVERYONE!!!" Tsunade screamed after her, but it was too late. The show decided to start 5 minutes early.

"Crap it," Tsunade said to her self, "I guess I'm going to have to go get everyone then, but if I get done in time, I can still catch the end of Hero's, and then watch Lost on ABC!!!"

That night, Tsunade randomly, ran to peoples houses, trying to figure out which house everyone lived in, and by the time she was done, she missed Hero's and Lost.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Tsunade cried out to the sky.

**The one Kingdom, you know that one with the trees and stuff**

At about 2:95 A.M. in the morning, 6 people showed up, obviously very angered, because Temari had lectured Gaara the WHOLE time about the 'Correct way' to apply Eyeliner.

"So this is how we put eyeliner on," Temari said, about to say something else, when Gaara stopped her.

"Shut up Temari, Or I'll send the firey depths of heaven! I mean Hell!" Gaara yelled at her. Gaara had a few problems with his words, and always mixed them up.

"And this is how you put lipstick on by the way Gaara," Kankuro told Gaara, as Gaara punched him.

"My music, I mean, my make up expresses me, not you guys!!!! I mean, did I just say that out loud?" Gaara asked himself, and he mentally slapped him self.

"Yo, foos," Neji said, "We need to see the King."

So they all went into the castle, but the King was so engrossed in Lost, that they decided to just go. They knew the mission anyway.

**With Tay-Chan and them**

Tayuya awoke from being unconscious, and looked at her surroundings, the moon was out, and a fire was lit, and Sasuke and Sakura were playing hand games, when she realized… SHE LOST TO KIMI-CHAN!!!!

"Fuck!" Tayuya cussed, as everyone looked at her.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, while loudly slurping his ramen noodles.

"I lost to that damn girl over there!" Tayuya exclaimed.

"You mean Sasuke?" Sakura questioned.

"No Ki-" Tayuya started, but got interrupted.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked again.

"NOOO!!! KIMI-CHAN!!!!" Tayuya screamed, as every animal and bug in the forest heard her.

"Wow….you screamed really loud, you could go to the Olympic screaming contest," Kimi-Chan told Tayuya, as she got up, and was ready to fight, when Sakura spoke up.

"How about we play the 'Who has the Worst Life' game?" Sakura said, as everyone nodded.

"How do we play?" Naruto asked, stupidly.

"Baka, you tell everyone how bad your life is, or what's bad in it, and we'll all vote, and see which is the worst," Sakura explained.

"Okay," Naruto said, "Sounds fun."

The all sat in a circle, and put on their fake Yu-Gi-Oh hair.

They were ready.

"Kimi-Chan you go first," Sakura said.

"Okay, my family is dead, and I work for Orochimaru and Kabuto, and I have to watch them flirt with each other every single day," Kimi-Chan groaned.

"That is pretty bad," Sakura said, about to cry.

"Yeah, well, My life is worse, My mom is Dead, and my Dad is obsessed with Desperate Housewives, Heros, and Lost, oh, and let's not forget that I have to hang out with 3 idiots named Sakon, Kidomaru, and Jiroubou, not to mention Sakon's brother Yukon, who likes piggy-back rides a lot," Tayuya told them, thinking hers was the worst.

"That's even worse then Kimi-Chan's!" Naruto yelled.

"I have to do missions with Sasuke every single freaking day!!! Plus, I don't have a boy-friend, and Ino does! I mean, who the heck would want to date her!!?!?!?" Sakura yelled.

"Um, yeah, that's great Sakura," Naruto said.

"Yeah, well, like, mine is wayyyy worse. Like, Sakura and Naruto, are like, always trying to break my nails, like! Plus, like, the mall decided to, like, close on like, Saturday!!!!!!!" Sasuke yelled, and began to cry.

"No one cares, Sasuke," Kimi-Chan said.

"Okay, my turn, I got kissed by Sasuke one time," Naruto said.

"You win!" everyone said except for Sasuke, who was still crying.



Tayuya was in her sleeping bag, and couldn't sleep. Everyone looked asleep, so she got up, and walked to the river, making sure she didn't wake anyone up. But what she didn't know, was that Kimimaro was right behind her.

"What are you doing out here?" Kimi-Chan asked, as Tayuya jumped.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him.

"I was having nightmares about Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Kabuto," He responded.

"Oh, I knew that, I just can't go to sleep," Tayuya told him. It was an awkward silence, so she wanted to break it.

"So um, when did you start working for Orochimaru?" Tayuya asked, very randomly.

"About 9, when I was about to kill a flower," Kimi-Chan answered.

"Um, Okay," Tayuya said to him. Even though it was an odd start, they started to talk. A few hours later, they were still talking. Tayuya thought that he seemed like the right guy to tell that she was a princess, but she didn't trust him.

"This is kind of random but, are you…Princess Tayuya?" Kimi-Chan asked, as Tayuya looked shocked.

"N-n-no, why would you think that?" Tayuya said, as he looked at her suspiciously, "But even if I was a princess, which I'm not, I hope you understand that I would NOT want to marry Orochimaru."

"Yeah, I see your point. He's gay for Sas-Gay, I mean, Sasuke," Kimi-Chan said, as his face leaned into hers.

Up above a tree, Sakura and Naruto were taping the whole thing, and just when Kimi-Chan and Tayuya were about to kiss, they heard a voice.

"Yo FOOS! Were looking for a Princess Tayuya," a gangsta looking guy with white eyes said. Tayuya and Kimi-Chan instantly broke apart, and blushed.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Sakura and Naruto screamed as they fell out of the tree.

"Neji, why did you do that?!?!?!" Sakura yelled at Neji, and whacked him over his do-rag.

"Wait, you guys were there the whole time?" Kimi-Chan asked, very pissed off.

"Yep, I mean NO!" Naruto exclaimed, as Kimi-Chan pulled out a bat from out of nowhere, and started chasing him. Tayuya was still in shock.

"Oh, yeah, by the way, have you guys seen a princess Tayuya?" Gaara asked, as Tayuya came out of shock.

"P-p-princess Tayuya? I don't see a Princess Tayuya!" Tayuya said, looking around, uneasily.

"TAYUYA!!!! THERE YOU ARE!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH??!?!?! FIRST, WHEN YOU HUNG US FROM THAT CLIFF, WE HAD TO RESCUED BY A GUY IN A SPANDEX SUIT, THEN WE TRIPPED SOME PACIFIER, THAT BELONGS TO A GIRL NAMED SASUKE, THEN WE GOT KIDNAPPED BY TEAM ROCKET, AND HAD TO WORK WITH JESSICA SIMPSON TO ESCAPE!!!!! AND NOW WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO THE SNAKE-BASTARD!!!" Sakon yelled, as he ran out of the bushes, along with the other three idiots.

"YOU JACK ASS!!!! WHY DID YOU JUST SCREAM THAT!!!!?!?!?!?" Tayuya shouted, as her and Sakon had a screaming contest.

"I knew it! You are a Princess!" Kimi-Chan pointed, as she gave him the I-HATE-YOU-I-HOPE-YOU-DIE-FROM-SASUKE'S-GIRLYNESS glare.

"Shut up! Like I said, who the heck would want to marry Orochimaru, who is probably 70 years older than me too, and He's gay for Sas-Gay!!!!" Tayuya screamed.

"Okay, well, let's just take you to Orochimaru," A voice said.

"Um, who are you?" Sakura asked.

"I'm Uchiha Itachi, and these are my friends Deidara, Sasori, and Kisame, and this is some girl who followed us, named Riku," Itachi said.

"Okay then, wait, aren't you guys S-Class Criminals?!?!?!" Sakura questioned.

"Yeah, but that one King guy hired us, because were gangsta's and we could rap the Desperate Housewives theme song," Deidara answered.

"Oh, Okay, then," Naruto, Sakura, and Everyone else said.

"Your gangsta's too? Can I join?" Neji asked.

"Well, you have the outfit right, let's test your rapping skills," Sasori told him.

"Okay then,

"I'm bossy

I'm the first girl to scream on a track

I switched up the beat of the drum

That's right i brought all the boys to the yard

And that's right, i'm the one whose tattooed on his arm

I'm bossy

I'm the bitch y'all love to hate

I'm the chick that's raised the stake

I told young stunna he should switch to BAPE

I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy"

"Ooh lemme slow it down for ya so you can catch the flow

Screw it up make it go extra slow

Real girls get down on the flo (on the flo get down, on the flo)

Ooh i gave you a taste you want some more

Touch down on it like a pro

I ride the beat like a bicycle, icy cold

Ooh from the 6-4 hoppers up in crenshaw

The money makin playas up in harlem

Don't want no problem

We gon keep it bumpin while the 808 is jumpin "

"Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill

Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill"

"I'm bossy

I'm the first girl to scream on a track

I switched up the beat of the drum

That's right i brought all the boys to the yard

And that's right, i'm the one whose tattooed on his arm

I'm bossy

I'm the bitch y'all love to hate

I'm the chick that's raised the stake

I told young stunna he should switch to BAPE

I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy "

"Ooh (i bet i bet i bet) i bet cha neva heard it like this before (this before)

My baby be closin' them phantom doors

The bar poppin list that you can't afford (can't afford)

Ooh i'm drinkin blastin the crowds it's all smokin

All the while i'm all open

Me and my girls we stay fly and we love to stay high

Ooh from the 6-4 hoppers up in crenshaw

To the money makin playas up in harlem

Don't want no problems

We gon keep it bumpin while the 808 is jumpin"

"Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill

Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill "

"I'm bossy

I'm the first girl to scream on a track

I switched up the beat of the drum

That's right i brought all the boys to the yard

And that's right i'm the one whose tattooed on his arm

I'm bossy

I'm the bitch ya'll love to hate

I'm the chick that's raised the stakes

I told young stunna he should switch to BAPE

I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy "

"It's bout time that she get with me

Can't stop starin, she's fine and she's pretty

Damn girl, don't hurt em

If niggas don't fight back, you gon' work 'em

Put your mack down, i know your background

What chu want girl, you gettin mad now

That's how you do it, huh?

Well i'm the coolest one

If bad bitches in the back bring em to the front

(Be-itch) Tell that man you's a boss bitch

Make some noise, raise your hand if you's a boss bitch

I don't think he understand you's a boss bitch

Get some help if you can cause he lost it

Ain't no refunds, she spent the cash mayne

In your benz with her friends in the fast lane

Flossin, you say "how much it cost me?"

About a million dollars playa, she's bossy "

"I'm bossy

I'm the first girl to scream on a track

I switched up the beat of the drum

That's right i brought all the boys to the yard

And that's right i'm the one whose tattooed on his arm

I'm bossy

I'm the bitch y'all love to hate

I'm the chick that's raised the stake

I told young stunna he should switch to BAPE

I'm back with an 808 cause i'm bossy "

"Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... watch the beat go...

Uh uh... " Neji rapped, as everyone applauded.

"Okay, your in kid," Itachi said, as everyone cheered.

"Yeah! Foe Shizzle," Neji yelled, as he jumped in the air, and made rap signs.

"You know that real rappers don't say Foe Shizzle right?" Kisame questioned.

"Of course, I'm from the Ghetto you know. I'm a Gangsta, a straight up G," Neji said, looking as cool as he could.

"You weren't from the ghetto, we lived in a big, huge mansion in Konoha Kingdom," Hinata said.

"Shut up Hinata!" Neji yelled, trying not to break his cool streak, "I bust your ass foo!"

Hinata Shook her head, and walked away, with Naruto right behind her.

"Okay, well, let's go to Orochimaru's now," Itachi said.

"But it's 2 in the morning, dammit!!!" Tayuya protested.

"Fine we'll leave at 8:95 A.M.," Itachi responded, as everyone got their sleeping bags out, and started to sleep, except for a certain someone.

Tayuya had packed up all her things, quietly, and ran away, again. She ran for about and hour, when by a near-by volcano, where a blond haired girl was about to throw a Pineapple haired kid in it.

"Ino please stop! I didn't mean to do it! I'm Sorry!!!!!!!" The pineapple dude yelled.

"Hey girl, what are you doing to that guy?" Tayuya asked the girl.

"Oh, hi," Ino said happily, as she dropped the pineapple dude into the volcano, who only survived because he grabbed a branch growing out of the side.

"Choji, help me!" He yelled, as another guy with an underwear headband on walked up to him, and threw a rope, so that pineapple dude could climb up.

"I didn't think they made underwear forehead protectors," Tayuya said, making the guy very mad.

"It's not underwear!!! It's a regular headband!" Choji yelled fiercely.

"Oh, sorry," Tayuya said.

"Just ignore them," Ino said, "by the way, I'm Ino, and this is Shikamaru and Choji!!!"

"Um, nice to meet you I guess," Tayuya said to her.

"Oh by the way, I have a tip for you," Shikamaru whispered to Tayuya, "Never say the 'F' word around Choji."

"You mean Fuck?" Tayuya asked.

"No, Fat," Shikamaru whispered.

"Why can't I say fat?" Tayuya said, a little too loud.

"DON'T CALL ME FAT!!!!!!!!!" Choji yelled, fire in his eyes. He picked Tayuya up ran to the top of the Volcano, and threw her in it.

"SHIT!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!" Tayuya screamed, falling in the volcano. She then closed her eyes, knowing she was doomed.

**DD- How did you like it?**

**EE- yeah?**

**DD- that was the 6-1-1!**

**Neji- 4-1-1 idiot**

**DD- Whatever, anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	5. Does Sasuke have pink hair?

**EE- Hola, thanks for da' reviews!**

**DD- Ditto, reviews rock!!**

**EE- Please review, PLEASE!!!**

**DD- Even though it's a little early in the story.**

**EE- Yeah.**

**Gaara- I've been really busy with all those pies you made me bake!!**

**EE- Heh, heh sorry!**

**DD- Suck it up.**

**Gaara- Hmmph.**

**EE- WHY ARE YOU STALLING, GET BAKING, FOO!!!**

**DD- Yeah, you'll like never get done!**

**Gaara- I hate you all!**

**DD- Here's the chapter!**

Chapter 5

_Last Time:_

"_Um, nice to meet you I guess," Tayuya said to her._

"_Oh by the way, I have a tip for you," Shikamaru whispered to Tayuya, "Never say the 'F' word around Choji."_

"_You mean Fuck?" Tayuya asked._

"_No, Fat," Shikamaru whispered._

"_Why can't I say fat?" Tayuya said, a little too loud._

"_DON'T CALL ME FAT!!!!!!!!!" Choji yelled, fire in his eyes. He picked Tayuya up ran to the top of the Volcano, and threw her in it._

"_SHIT!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!" Tayuya screamed, falling in the volcano. She then closed her eyes, knowing she was doomed._

This Time:

Tayuya, who was now done screaming, felt something grab her wrist, and pulled her up. She was saved, well, for now anyway. Tayuya still had her eyes closed, so she didn't know who her knight in shining Armor was at the moment. As she came back up from the volcano, she fell on her Knight. She then opened her eyes, and found her knight to be… Kimimaro, and not only that, but… she was kissing him.

"AH!" She wanted to scream, but it felt so right. She noticed he didn't stop either, but they finally let go for air, and blushed. They then got up, and Kimimaro ran around, screaming, "COOTIES!!!"

"I CAN'T WAIT TO DOWNLOAD THIS TO A TAPE!!!!" Naruto screamed, forgetting Kimimaro and Tayuya were right underneath the tree.

"YOU WERE TAPING IT?!?!?!!? YOU BASTARD!!!!" Tayuya screamed, trying to climb up the tree.

"Not only that, but this is a LIVE- TV camera! Anything you want to say to the public?" Sakura asked, smirking.

"Only one thing. ASSHOLES!!! FUCK YOU!!!" Tayuya screamed at the camera, punching it, and making cracks in it.

**Meanwhile in the Kingdom with the trees and stuff**

"TEA!!!!!!!!!" the King screamed in anger, throwing one of his Desperate Housewives tapes. He then picked it up and started petting his tape and saying sorry over and over again.

"Oh well, Desperate Housewives is on anyway," The King said, not really caring about 'Tea'.

**Meanwhile in Orochimaru's Barbie Mansion **

"NOOO!!!!! I NEED THAT GIRL TEA SO PEOPLE WILL STOP THINKING I'M GAY!!!!" Orochimaru screamed furiously, as Kabuto tried to calm him down.

"But you are gay," Kabuto said.

"SHUT UP!!!!" Orochimaru screamed again, "I need her so the other Kings and Queens will stop making fun of me!!! I have feelings too, you know!" Orochimaru started to cry.

"There, There, you can spend the night with me," Kabuto beamed, hoping Orochimaru would agree, and they could spend some 'Alone' time together.

"If Sasuke's there!" Orochimaru said, as Kabuto sweat dropped, and mentally cried.

**Back to the peoples and Foos**

"You broke our camera!" Sakura cried.

"Do you know how much this cost?"

"I don't give a shit, you Mo Fo's!!!!!" Tayuya screamed.

"What does 'Mo Fo' mean?" Sasuke asked, as everyone stared at him with shockness.

"You're kidding right? You don't know what Mo Fo means?" Naruto asked him.

"Nope! Does it mean Mother Food?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure, we'll go with that Sasugay," Sakura said, as they all shook their heads at the poor gay kid.

"Okay, HOLY CRUD-FIZZLE!!!!" Sasuke screamed, as he barely dodged a kunai (hey people, I want him dead, but I have to make fun of him first don't I?") coming straight at him.

"Sorry I meant to hit you," Itachi said nonchalantly.

"You're supposed to love me!" Sasuke cried to him.

"Why would I love you? You lack hatred," Itachi said.

"He lacks more than that," Sakura said, as they all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Well, at least I don't lack, pink hair! DIIIISSSSS!" Sasuke said.

"Sasuke, you don't have pink hair," Ino said.

"Yes I do! SHUT UP!" Sasuke screamed, taking out a pink Crayola crayon.

"Okay then, weeeeelll, anyways how bout we try to get Tayuya back to Orochimaru," Tenten said, as Tayuya's eyes widened.

"Fuck no!" Tayuya screamed, "HAVE A HEART!!"

"Sorry, but we have no hearts. We're like heartless from kingdom hearts. Or maybe were nobody's. I'll figure that out one day… Deidara, Let's go figure out the meaning of life!" Itachi said, as the two ran off, with Riku following them.

"Okay then, well, anyway maybe we shouldn't take her back, considering that this Orochimaru were talking about. He would probably ask her, once they were married, to get him some gay sex toys or something," Tenten said, as they all started to think.

_Thoughts_

_Tenten- I'm so right!_

_Neji- I'm so gangsta It's not even funny_

_Naruto- Ramen, Ramen, Ramen_

_Tayuya- I think I could commit suicide with this lollipop_

_  
Sakura- Is my hair really pink?_

_Sasuke- What's Sakura talking about? My hair is so totally pink_

_Kimimaro- I don't know why Sasuke thinks his hair is pink… unless… HE'S COLORBLIND!!!! That could explain everything!!!!! Though I have to wonder, maybe I'm colorblind too, because how's my hair white? I mean, come on, you don't get white hair unless you're old! Wait, am I old?????? AHHHHH!!!!!!  
_

_Ino- Is my hair really blond, and I think Sasuke's hair is pink… I knew it! He's my true-love!_

_Shikamaru- I don't even think Ino knows that she's blond_

_Choji- Maybe I am fat… Na, that can't be right_

_Kisame- I'm craving some shark. Everyone thinks I'm a vegetarian, but they were wrong, THEY WERE ALL WRONG!!!!!! MWA-HA-HA-ACKACK!!!_

_Kidomaru- Ew, I saw a spider! Kill it!_

_Jiroubou- I'm so skinny! I've been working out a lot. Woo I'm skinny!_

_Sakon- I really need to go to Sephora _

_Ukon- Me too!_

_Sasori- Why am I here again? Oh yeah, I'm getting down and dirty with the lollipop_

_Zetsu(who magically came here)- What is Sasori doing to that lollipop???????_

_End thoughts_

"Jeez we have really weird thoughts don't we?" Tenten said.

"Ohmegosh!!! YOU CAN READ MY MIND CAN'T YOU!!!!!" Sasuke screamed, running around in circles, until he crashed into a tree.

"No, I can just tell by your faces and hand movements… and lollipops… What they heck were you doing Sasori?" Tenten asked.

"I was getting down and dirty with the lo- I mean, nothing!" Sasori said, as they all scooted away from him.

"What did I ever do to you guys!" Sasori asked, starting to cry, and he ran back home, to the Lollipop world, with Zetsu following. Kisame cried, but went to eat-the-sharks world.

"YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE HAIR, AND WALK IT OUT!" A random guard guy said, as everyone started to walk it out, with music playing in the back round.

"Now walk it out!" Everyone started to sing. (We hate that song)

"OHMEGOSH! I LOVE THIS SONG!" Sasuke screamed in her, I mean, his girlish high-squeaked voice.

"Go to hell you bastard," Tayuya said, as she got handcuffed along with everyone else but Sasuke, who the guards knew Sasuke was on their side.

They drove for then days and ten nights in squad cars, though one of them was trashed up and squished, since Team Rocket trashed them with their hummer. Nobody died except for the extra po po's, and then finally arrived at Orochimaru's Barbie mansion.

"Hello everyone. Me and my new boyfriend, MJ, have kids. Oh boys, what's up?" Orochimaru 'greeted' them.

"Master!" Sasuke yelled happily.

"Sasuke, I never thought I would see you again!" Orochimaru cried, as they hugged.

"Since we don't have a dungeon, were going to put you in the candy land room, AKA Orochimaru's closet," the guards said, as they all began to scream and screech. Even Tayuya was scared for her life.

"Except for Tayuya of course, my beautiful husband! I mean wife! I'm going to go give you a haircut, just like Sasuke's hair!" Orochimaru screamed in delight.

"WHAT?!?!?! I DON'T WANT A CHICKEN-ASS HAIR CUT!" Tayuya screamed, as Orochimaru's face fell.

"Oh fine, let's get ready for the wedding then, I got you a BEAUTIFUL dress! It's going to be just like the one I'm wearing!" Orochimaru screamed in delight.

"What????:?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!!?!?!?!??!!?" Tayuya screamed.

**End Chapter**

**EE- What an awesome cliffy**

**DD- WHERE'S CLIFFORD????**

**Gaara- up your butt and around the corner.**

**DD- how can he fit up there????**

**Gaara- nevermind…**

**EE- Anyway, um, just review… we have cookies!!!!!! **


	6. Are you Fucking Sirius?

**DD- Hey everyone! Sorry we havn't updated in a while, but SOME PEOPLE don't review!!!!**

**EE-Touché**

**DD- Thanks for all the reviewers, wait, there weren't any! But thank you everyone who reviewed in earlier chapters! **

**EE- On to the story!**

Chapter 6

Last time:

"_Sasuke, I never thought I would see you again!" Orochimaru cried, as they hugged._

"_Since we don't have a dungeon, were going to put you in the candy land room, AKA Orochimaru's closet," the guards said, as they all began to scream and screech. Even Tayuya was scared for her life._

"_Except for Tayuya of course, my beautiful husband! I mean wife! I'm going to go give you a haircut, just like Sasuke's hair!" Orochimaru screamed in delight._

"_WHAT?!?!?! I DON'T WANT A CHICKEN-ASS HAIR CUT!" Tayuya screamed, as Orochimaru's face fell._

"_Oh fine, let's get ready for the wedding then, I got you a BEAUTIFUL dress! It's going to be just like the one I'm wearing!" Orochimaru screamed in delight._

"_What????:?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!!?!?!?!??!!?" Tayuya screamed._

This Time:

**In the Closet**

"I wonder how long it took Orochimaru to come out of this thing," Naruto said, as everyone glared at him

"Not funny Naruto!" Everyone yelled at him.

"Ha ha! I get that!" Sakura laughed, as everyone glared at her, "sorry…"

"Hey look what I found, it looks like one of those dolls you get at Toys. R. Us.!" Choji said, as he pulled out a life-size doll of… Sasuke.

"What's this?" Choji asked innocently.

"Are you serious?" everyone asked.

"No that's me!" Sirius Black said, coming out of nowhere.

"I'll tell you when you're older Choji," Shikamaru said to him, patting his back.

"But you said you would tell me when I was older when I was five!" Choji said, tears in his eyes.

"Too bad," Shikamaru said.

"We have to get out of here somehow guys! Or else Orochimaru's going to marry Tayuya!" Kimimaro said, frustrated, as everyone stared at him.

"So?" Everyone asked, as he glared at the peoples with his I-Hope-You-Die-From-Sasuke's-Girliness-And-You-Will-Get-Married-To-Orochimaru glare.

"But I don't want to get married to Orochimaru!" Naruto cried, as big fluffy tears rolled down his face.

"Sucks for you, now help me get Tayuya back, and you won't have you marry Orochimaru!" Kimimaro said, as they all shouted, "STAND UP!" and broke into song.

"(Stand up, Stand up, Stand up,  
Stand up, Stand up, Stand up)  
I was built to be the best  
Number one and nothing less  
Lead me to my destiny  
I have waited patiently  
I have vision oh I believe  
I know I can count on me

"So stand up, for the champions,  
for the champions stand up  
Stand up, stand up,  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), for the champions,  
for the champions stand up  
Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions stand up

"(Stand up, Stand up, Stand up)

"Here we go it's getting close  
Now it's just who wants it most  
It's just life that's how it is  
'Cos we have our strengths and weaknesses  
O I have vision o can't you see  
I'm on the move make way for me

"So stand up (stand up) for the champions,  
for the champions, stand up  
Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up),  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), for the champions,  
for the champions stand up  
Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up),  
for the champions, for the champions stand up

"And when I fall down  
I have to pick my self back up  
And when I fall down  
I have to pick my self back up  
And when I fall down  
I have to pick my self back up  
And when I fall down  
I have to pick my self back up

"Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up

"Stand up (stand up), stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), Stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), Stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up (stand up), Stand up (stand up)  
for the champions, for the champions  
Stand up"

"WOOOOOO!!!!" Everyone shouted, raising their fists in the air, and Naruto tried to brake into another song.

"One-thousand fists in the air!" Naruto sang, as everyone knocked him out.

"Dude, only the Disturbed can sing that, dumb ass. Oh, and it's ten-thousand," Shikamaru sighed, as they broke out of the closet, with Sirius' help.

**Before the wedding**

"Why am I in a tuxedo?" Tayuya asked.

"Cause I want to wear the dress! Oh, and can you fix my veil for me?" Orochimaru asked her, as she pushed him over.

"Come on you two, you have to get in the wedding room!" a random servant said, as the Orochimaru tried to get up, with no avail. Tayuya rushed out of the room screaming, "SHIIITTTT!!!!"

**The wedding**

"Do you, Tayuya, take this… person… to be you're, um, spouse?" The preacher asked, "The green pill, or the red pill?"

"Um, um," Tayuya stuttered.

"Okay, 30 seconds left on the clock," the preacher said.

"Too bad!" The preacher said, giving her the red pill.

"Orochimaru, do you take this, girl, to be you're, um, spouse also?" the preacher said.

"Of course I will!" Orochimaru said, in her, I mean his, girly voice.

"Are there any objections why this, um, _beautiful_ couple, should not be married?" The preacher questioned.

There was pure silence through-out the room.

"I now pronounce you, ummm, Spouse, and sp-" The preacher stopped, as someone opened the big ass doors.

"I REJECT!!!!!" Kimimaro yelled, as everyone stared at him oddly, "I mean, EJECT!!!!!!!"

"The DVD?" Naruto asked, as everyone sweat dropped, and hit him on the head.

"I mean, OBJECT!!!" Kimimaro screamed one more time.

"I hate to break this to you, Kimimaro, but you're fired!" Orochimaru said, throwing his veil at him.

"What? I quit five years ago!" Kimimaro said, "The only reason I stayed around was for the free food!"

"User!" Orochimaru screamed, as he threw his high-heeled shoe at Kimimaro.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Sirius screamed, in slow-motion.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Naruto screamed, in slow-motion.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Sasuke screamed, in slow-motion.

"HAAAAAAAAA, HAAAAAAAAA!" The one dude from the Simpson's laughed, in slow-motion, as the heel bounced off of Kimimaro's chest, and fell slowly to the floor.

"You know that didn't hurt right?" Kimimaro said, chucking the shoe at Orochimaru. Orochimaru screamed, and jumped out the window, never to return again.

"How did you survive that?" The three idiots asked.

"I'm just cool like that," Kimimaro said, coolly, as everyone cheered that Orochimaru was dead and gone.

"So, who's getting married today?

"No one! I don't want to get married until I'm 35! Jeez!" Tayuya shouted at the preacher, running away out of the room.

"Wait, everyone! I'm supposed to be getting paid here!" the preacher yelled, as everyone left the room.

**End Chapter**

**DD- How'd you like it? Oh, and this is not the last chapter!**

**EE- You better like it!**

**DD- YEAH!**

**EE- And 'Stand Up' is by Right said Fred.**

**DD- Yep! NOW REVIEW!!!! AND WE'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!!!!!!**


	7. A cupcake in the hay

**DD- Sorrry we forgot to put couples in it, so were going to dedicate this ENTIRE chapter to the couples that we promised would be in here!!!!**

**EE- Were listening to 'Stand Up!!!!' **

**DD and EE- Yep!!!! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! For the champions!**

**Gaara- Anyway, on to the story!**

_Last Time:_

"_You know that didn't hurt right?" Kimimaro said, chucking the shoe at Orochimaru. Orochimaru screamed, and jumped out the window, never to return again._

"_How did you survive that?" The three idiots asked._

"_I'm just cool like that," Kimimaro said, coolly, as everyone cheered that Orochimaru was dead and gone._

"_So, who's getting married today?_

"_No one! I don't want to get married until I'm 35! Jeez!" Tayuya shouted at the preacher, running away out of the room._

"_Wait, everyone! I'm supposed to be getting paid here!" the preacher yelled, as everyone left the room._

This Time:

Gaara felt sad today. Why did he feel sad? Because everyone else had someone to love but him, and no one loves him. Plus he doesn't have any cupcakes.

"Gaara, can I borrow some eye-liner from you? I really need some!" Sakura asked, as Gaara started to get that mad mark thingy on his head. I mean a vein pop thingy!

"It's not eyeliner! It's called eye-pencil!" Gaara said to her, as she smiled happily.

"I've always wanted to try that! We have so much in common, we both like eyeliner!!!!" Sakura screeched in happiness.

"Yeah," Gaara said, a little scared of Sakura now.

"Let's go get some cupcakes from the store!" Sakura said happily.

"I can make cupcakes," Gaara said simply to her.

"You can? I love a man who can make cupcakes! Let's go use Orochimaru's Easy-bake oven!" Sakura yelled.

"Well, you know, I can use REAL ovens!" Gaara bragged, as Sakura got big hearts in her eyes.

"Really?" Sakura asked.

"Really," Gaara said, proudly.

"I know how to make pink frosting!" Sakura bragged.

"Are you serious? I've always wanted to know how to make that!" Gaara said happily.

"No I'm Sirius!" Sirius said.

"Get out of here," Gaara said, glaring, as Sirius got scared and ran away to more people saying, "are you serious?"

"Let's go make pink frosting cupcakes!" Sakura said happily, grabbing Gaara's hand, making them both blush, but they went to go find the oven anyway.

**With Ino and Shikamaru**

"Why do you think we all happen to be in different places in this story, you know, Gaara and Sakura in one place, You and I in another, Naruto and Hinata in one, and I bet Neji and Tenten are in another!!" Shikamaru said, confused.

"Probably because these authors are really cheap," Ino said, "I mean, how would that work, we were all just in the same place! I mean, who does that?"

"If you don't like it, do something about it!" EE and DD say, entering the story.

"We will! We're going to go on a quest to the kitchen, so there will be FOUR of us together!" Ino said.

"You can't do that! It will mess up our story!" EE argued.

"Who cares? I think we just did! OHHHHH!!!" Ino said, as Ino and Shikamaru pushed EE and DD out of the story, and the headed to the kitchen, but came upon a hay bail maze.

"You're kidding right? Who puts a hay bail maze in their house, that is so fetch!" Shikamaru said.

"You're kidding right? That will NEVER be in!" Ino said, as they argued. They finally settled their differences, which took a long time, and headed into the maze.

"I bet the kitchen is straight ahead, so we'll probably just have to go straight," Shikamaru said to Ino, as she nodded, and they went into the maze. Turns out, Shikamaru was wrong for the first time in his life, and they got lost in the maze for two days, and survived on the hay. Luckily, they were really hungry, and they ate all the hay, so figured out where they were supposed to go. Go them!

"I'm so full! I can't go on!" Ino cried.

"We're almost there! We can do this! Just sing your favorite song!" Shikamaru said, as Ino nodded, and tried to get up.

"Now that you are out of my life,  
I'm so much better  
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,  
but I'm stronger  
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,  
but I'm richer  
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,  
I laugh harder  
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,  
now I'm wiser  
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,  
but I'm smarter  
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,  
but I'm chillin'  
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,  
sold 9 million

"I'm a survivor (what),  
I'm not gonna give up (what)  
I'm not gon' stop (what),  
I'm gonna work harder (what)  
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it  
(what)  
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)

"Thought I couldn't breath without ya,  
I'm inhalin'  
You thought I couldn't see without ya,  
perfect vision  
You thought I couldn't last without ya,  
but I'm lastin'  
You thought that I would die without ya,  
but I'm livin'  
Thought that I would fail without ya,  
but I'm on top  
Thought that it would be over by now,  
but it won't stop  
Thought that I would self destruct,  
but I'm still here  
Even in my years to come,  
I'm still gonna be here

"I'm a survivor (what),  
I'm not gonna give up (what)  
I'm not gon' stop (what),  
I'm gonna work harder (what)  
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it  
(what)  
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)

"I'm wishin' you the best,  
pray that you are blessed  
Much success, no stress, and lots of  
happiness  
(I'm better than that)  
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio  
(I'm better than that)  
I'm not gonna lie on you or yo family, yo  
(I'm better than that)  
I'm not gonna hate on you in the magazine  
(I'm better than that)  
I'm not gonna compromise my christianity  
(I'm better than that)  
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the  
internet  
('Cause my mama taught me better than that)

"I'm a survivor (what),  
I'm not gonna give up (what)  
I'm not gon' stop (what),  
I'm gonna work harder (what)  
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it  
(what)  
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)

"After all of the darkness and sadness,   
soon comes happiness  
If I surround myself with positive things,  
I'll gain posterity

"I'm a survivor (what),  
I'm not gonna give up (what)  
I'm not gon' stop (what),  
I'm gonna work harder (what)  
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it  
(what)  
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)

"I'm a survivor (what),  
I'm not gonna give up (what)  
I'm not gon' stop (what),  
I'm gonna work harder (what)  
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it  
(what)  
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)"

"You like that song?" Ino asked Shikamaru, as they stopped their singing.

"Well yeah, you memorized it?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah I memorized the Destiny's Child version!" Ino said.

"Me too!" Shikamaru said happily.

"We have so much in common! We both like the Destiny's Child song, and we both like hay! OMG! This is like, so cheap!" Ino said, as he agreed, and they held hands.

"I know, that's why I have the strength to go on!" Shikamaru said.

"Me too!" Ino said happily, as they made it into the kitchen.

"Hey guys, after two days, we finally made it into the kitchen!" Ino yelled happily.

"Why didn't you guys just use the other door?" Gaara asked.

"What other door?" Shikamaru said, getting pissed.

"Who cares, let's just eat cupcakes!" Sakura said, as they all happily ate cupcakes.

**With Hinata and Naruto**

"So how cheap is this going to be?" Naruto asked Hinata, who shrugged, and they both went into the next room, to see….

"Get away from my cousin foo!" Neji said, as he punched Naruto, "I went to juvie for your information!"

"No you didn't!" Tenten yelled back at him.

"Yes I did foo! How would you know!?" Neji questioned.

"We've known each other since we were three," Tenten said, obviously winning. Neji started to sweat.

"I went when I was two! For illegal drugs!" Neji said back.

"You can't arrest a two year old!" Tenten argued.

"They did in Dragon Tales!" Neji replied back. By that time, Hinata and Naruto had snuck out of the room.

"You can't base your life on that show! It's not healthy for you!" Tenten said.

**Back with Hinata and Naruto**

"Okay then," Naruto said.

"Yeah, don't mind my cousin," Hinata said.

"Do you want to go make out in a closet while listening to them argue, and the 'Stand up' song?" Naruto said, as he got his 'Right said Fred' shirt on.

"Sure," Hinata said, holding hands with him, "This is getting cheaper and cheaper."

**Back with Neji and Tenten (Continuing from the arguing from before)**

"Yes I can! I can be a rapper and I can base my life on Dragon tales, fizzle!" Neji said back to her.

"You know that show's about two kids who overdose on acid?" Tenten asked.

"No! My lifelong dream is ruined, I mean, that's what I got arrested for!" Neji replied back, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sure," Tenten said, rolling her eyes, "You don't need dragon tales, you know."

"You're right!" Neji exclaimed, as all the couples came into the room, and they broke into yet another song.

"Emmy wished on a dragon scale,  
And that's what started Dragon Tales.  
Around the room the dragons flew,  
But Emmy and Max knew what to do.  
They climbed on the backs of their dragon friends,  
Now the adventures never end!

"Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales  
It's almost time for Dragon Tales.  
Come along and take my hand,  
Let's all go to Dragon Land.

"There's Ord he's the biggest,  
Not so brave of heart.  
There's Cassie,  
So shy, but so very smart.  
There's Zak and Wheezie and his tales of fun,  
Cause you know two heads are better than one.

"Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales  
It's almost time for Dragon Tales.  
Come along and take my hand,  
Let's all go to Dragon Land."

And they all hugged each other, the end (Not really).

End Chapter

DD- Don't worry, that wasn't that last chapter!!!!

EE- Yep, that was just for the other couples. The next chapter will be about Kimimaro and Tayuya!!!!

DD- Yep, now review!!!!


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